Confusion
by MiNdY
Summary: Her feelings, her thoughts and emotions are in a jumble. And so are his. How are the both of them going to sort out this confusion?
1. My head, or my heart? [Hermione]

Oh God. Tell me this isn't true.  
  
I see him everyday...he's always by my side. He's my best friend. It's impossible. I think it's impossible. It'd better be impossible.  
  
On second thoughts, I don't think it's impossible.  
  
What am I doing? Why am I even thinking about this? It's pointless, isn't it? Just because he's nice to me, it doesn't mean that he likes me...I mean, he DOES like me, but only as his friend. I'm only his friend. Nothing more.  
  
"Hermione? Oi. Did you hear what I just said?" His voice...  
  
"What? Erm," I replied. I had been too engrossed in my thoughts. And besides, I was busy listening to the sound of his voice...I hadn't been concentrating on what he was saying. "Sorry Ron. I didn't hear...I was just thinking about my...erm...Vampire essay." What a lie.  
  
"I knew it. Stop thinking about schoolwork and concentrate on what I'm saying," he responded.  
  
"Oh. Okay. Erm. You were saying?"  
  
"I was saying that maybe we should celebrate Harry's birthday for him. I mean, we've sent him cakes and all that, but I reckon he'd prefer it if we did celebrate his birthday. A party, y'know what I mean?" He looked at me with his bright blue eyes.  
  
"Yeah. Sure...erm. So what do you want me to do?" I asked.  
  
"Well, you can be in charge of planning. You're much more organised than I am," he said.  
  
"But Ron, we aren't supposed to use magic during the holidays, remember?" I replied.  
  
"You and your rules, Hermione. Anyway, I've solved that problem already. We can always get my mom and dad to help. They're not binded by that rule, right?" Brilliant idea...as usual.  
  
"That's a great idea, Ron. Hey, erm, I need to get to Arithmetic class, and you have to get to your Divination class. Harry must be wondering where you are...what excuse did you give him to get away?" I said.  
  
"I told him I had a stomachache," he answered.  
  
I rolled my eyes. Typical Ron excuse.  
  
"Okay, we've both got to go for our classes now," I said.  
  
"Yeah. And remember, DON'T tell Harry."  
  
"I'm not stupid, Ron." I grinned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah...Top of the year student." He smiled. "See you around."  
  
He ran down the corridor which would lead him to Professor's Trelawney's classroom.  
  
I watched him run, his red hair whipping in the wind, his robes flying. When he was out of sight, I turned around and walked towards the Arithmetic classroom.  
  
This was serious...I was even admiring the way he ran!  
  
Enough of the denying. I'm getting sick of it myself. I need an answer.  
  
My head is telling me that I can't like him...because I'll end up getting hurt. I know he doesn't like me.  
  
My heart, on the other hand, is telling me that there's nothing wrong with liking your best friend. After all, he IS a boy, isn't he? Emotions come so naturally. It's not my fault that he's my best friend.  
  
What am I suppose to follow? My head, or my heart? 


	2. Realisations [Hermione]

Arithmetic is an interesting subject, but it still couldn't stop my mind from wandering. I was wondering about the possibilities about Ron liking me. Which was a totally pointless thing to do. I kept my eyes on the Professor, making sure I did hear what some of what she was saying. Ron...Well, I guess that studies come first.  
  
Arithmetic finally ended, and I was free to go. I entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Ron and Harry were waiting there, playing Wizards' Chess. Ron is very good at chess...I still remembered the time when we got pass Professor Mcgonagall's giant chess set in our first year. It seemed overly daring, come to think of it.  
  
"Hi guys..." I said.  
  
Harry's head snapped up.  
  
"HERMIONE! You wouldn't GUESS what happened!" Harry was grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"What?"  
  
"RON ACTUALLY HAS A CRUSH ON LAVENDER BROWN!" Harry exclaimed.  
  
Ron turned red. "Harry, stop announcing it!"  
  
Relax, Ron," Harry said. "Nobody's here except us. All of them went to enjoy the weather. Including Lavender. Heh."  
  
Ron has a crush on Lavender Brown? Doesn't that mean...  
  
Oh God. I should have followed my head.  
  
**  
  
It was the second day since I was hit with the hard fact that Ron actually liked Lavender Brown. It was so...depressing. I don't know. It's just that...I didn't expect it. I didn't want to be jealous...but every time Ron talked about her, or mentioned her...it was just so painful.  
  
Lavender was one of my good friends...and it's just that...I don't really want my relationship with her to be spoilt by my liking for Ron. It just isn't right.  
  
"Don't you think she's so pretty?" Ron whispered to me abruptly, as Lavender walked past us.  
  
We were discussing what to do for Harry's birthday party.  
  
"Yes...yes, she is." I replied. Pain.  
  
"How am I going to ever make her like me back? And how do I know she feels the same way?"  
  
"Well, Ron...I can sound her out for you if you like. And well...I'll teach you how to chase her." More pain.  
  
"That is so COOL, Hermione! You're the best!" he said.  
  
I forced a grin.  
  
I had just promised to teach Ron what I didn't want him to do.  
  
**  
  
"Hey Lavender...could I speak to you for a while?"  
  
"Sure, Hermione...what's up?" Lavender Brown looked at me.  
  
I had found the chance to speak to Lavender alone today after Arithmetic lesson. This was the fourth day since I found out, and it wasn't hurting any less. The boys were playing in the snow, and Parvati was with her other bunch of friends.  
  
"Erm. Nothing much...just want to talk, I guess," I said.  
  
"Don't you have Harry and Ron?" she said, smiling.  
  
"Yeah...but they're not girls," I said, grinning.  
  
"Oh. Okay." She nodded, accepting my reason. "Well...so what is it about?"  
  
"Boys," I said suddenly.  
  
"Oh...then you've come to the wrong person. I don't know much about guys...Parvati knows more," she said.  
  
"Yeah, but I'm closer to you. Say, what do you think of Ron?" I decided to ask the question quick.  
  
"Ron? Why? You like Ron?" she looked at me curiously.  
  
"No," I lied. "He's my best friend...just want to know what you think about the people I'm mixing around with. I've heard that some people aren't really happy that I'm good friends with him and Harry. They're always getting into trouble."  
  
"Well...Ron is...nice. Good enough to be your friend. I mean, he's good at chess, and although he's not really good with his books, he makes up for it by being brave. I heard about what happened in first year, Hermione...I know," she said. "As for Harry...he's really cool. Brave, courageous, nice, beautiful green eyes...although his hair is a little messy, his lightning scar still looks really nice underneath it." Her eyes started to sparkle.  
  
Oh gosh. How was I going to tell Ron that the girl he liked was actually having a crush on his best friend?  
  
"And of course, Harry is really cute too. Not to mention that he's the Boy Who Lived...Surviving You-Know-Who's attacks...he really has a charmed life. And Harry has also duelled with You-Know-Who! And--"  
  
"Er okay, Lavender...that's enough," I said, cutting her off halfway.  
  
"I haven't even said everything yet," she replied.  
  
"Well, I guess that what you've said is enough to tell me I'm mixing with the right people. Thanks, Lavender."  
  
"Any time, Hermione," she replied, smiling. I smiled back, and headed to the dormitory, where I sat in my bed.  
  
Great. What was I going to tell Ron? That Lavender liked Harry, and not him? 


	3. Telling Harry [Hermione]

"Well, Hermione? What did she say when you asked her yesterday?"  
  
Ron had pulled me aside before breakfast, to ask me what Lavender had said yesterday. Great. What was I going to tell him?  
  
"Well, Ron..." I started. How could I hurt his feelings like that?  
  
"What? Come on, Hermione..." he said, giving me a pleading look.  
  
"I...Well...She doesn't like you, Ron. Not in that sort of way," I said truthfully. There. It was out now. "I'm sorry, Ron."  
  
"I knew it. It's okay, Hermione...I should have expected it." His face fell.  
  
"Oh, Ron...don't be sad. I told you I'll teach you how to chase her," I said, wanting to kick myself the moment the words came out of my mouth.  
  
"That is so cool of you, Hermione! Thanks! Hey, let's go for breakfast, I'm starving," he said, grinning.  
  
I could feel my heart breaking. Into tiny little pieces.  
  
'What are you thinking, Hermione Granger? You're his best friend, and you're helping him get the girl he likes...that's what you should do, isn't it?'  
  
No, it isn't. You like him. You're in love with him.  
  
'I am not in love with Ronald Weasley. I want to help him.'  
  
Stop denying it, Hermione Granger.  
  
'I'm not denying it.'  
  
See? You ARE denying it. Wake up, Hermione.  
  
Okay, great. Now I'm struggling with inner voices. This is so stupid.  
  
As I sat beside Ron, eating my breakfast, I couldn't help but feel depressed. To him, I'm only his best friend, the sister that he never had. We're just friends...nothing more. What more can I expect? And Harry...well, I guess I should tell him that Lavender Brown likes him. Then we can both decide what to do.  
  
**  
  
It was in the late afternoon when I finally got the chance to speak to Harry alone. Ron was off playing in the snow with the twins. Harry had the flu, so he had decided to stay in the Common Room.  
  
"Harry, I need to speak to you," I said, pulling him out of the Common Room. There were too many people inside.  
  
"Whad? Hermione, can'd dis waid? I'm havind de flu," he said, speaking with a blocked nose.  
  
"Please, Harry?"  
  
"Okay okay..." He stepped out of the Common Room with me. "Whad do you wand do say?"  
  
"You know...Lavender Brown? Ron's erm, crush?" I said.  
  
"Yeah. Whad aboud her?" He sneezed.  
  
"Harry, she doesn't like Ron," I replied.  
  
"Oh. I know dat. You dold me, remember?" he said.  
  
"Yes, Harry. But...what I didn't tell you was that she likes YOU."  
  
"WHAD? You musd be joking, Hermione." Harry looked bewildered.  
  
"I'm not joking, Mr Potter. And I won't be surprise if every girl in school likes you because you're so famous," I responded.  
  
"Including you?" he said, giving me a mock hopeful look.  
  
"HARRY...This is no time for jokes." I looked sternly at him.  
  
"Well, you starded id," he said.  
  
"That was not a joke. Come on, Harry. What should we do? Should we tell Ron?"  
  
"Whad do you dink, Hermione?" he said.  
  
"I don't want your friendship to be affected by this...girl," I said.  
  
"Me doo. Bud den I dink Ron would undersdand." Harry blew his nose onto his handkerchief.  
  
"Well, I don't know, Harry...You remember the Triwizard Tournament two years back? When you got chosen? Do you remember his reaction?"  
  
"Erm. I dink we bedder nod dell 'im," said Harry, making a decision.  
  
"Okay. Then what should we do about it?" I asked.  
  
"Nudding. We don'd do anyding. Jusd leave id like dis. He doesn'd have do know anyding dat would hurd 'is feelings." Harry sneezed again.  
  
"All right, then," I said, grateful that Harry had helped me make the tough choice.  
  
Thank God I have TWO best friends. 


	4. Hiding behind a mask [Ron]

Who could blame me for feeling this way? I never understood it myself. From first year to fifth year, Hermione had always been my friend. The sister that I never had. And she still is, of course. But...this feeling is different. So much more different.  
  
I had started to notice the sparkle in her brown eyes when she laughed, the grin that always appeared so cheekily on that perfect face. It was at the start of our sixth year when I realised that Hermione Granger was a very pretty girl.  
  
I had cooked up so many excuses so that I could be alone with Hermione, without Harry around. Harry's birthday party was one, although I honestly thought that we should celebrate it for him. And the crush on Lavender Brown had been another one. Fortunately nobody asked me what I saw in that giggly, silly, Harry Potter admirer. I wouldn't have been able to answer that question.  
  
However, Hermione seemed to show no emotion when I told her I liked Lavender Brown. It seemed like she was happy for me, and I was no more than a good friend to her. She gave no sign that she was jealous or anything. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my own part...thinking that she likes me.  
  
First of all, I think she'll probably like Harry first. I have to admit that Harry is an amazing person. He's the Boy Who Lived! And he's popular, and he's smart. He's a brilliant seeker. He's everything that I can never be. Harry Potter, the object of so many girls affections...and maybe Hermione's too.  
  
Second... Hermione is so smart...what would she see in an idiot like me? I don't do well in studies, I don't like doing homework, I'm not serious in everything...the only thing I'm good at is chess. I'm pretty useless, I guess.  
  
And thirdly, I'm not attractive. In second year, she was obviously swooning over the good-looking Gilderoy Lockhart. It probably shows she likes good looking guys...and I'm not at all good-looking. What would she see in me?  
  
"Ron? Ron? Did you hear anything I just said?" Hermione said, waving her hand in front of my eyes.  
  
"What? Oh. Erm. Repeat that," I said.  
  
"Ron...stop thinking of Lavender, for Pete's sake," said Hermione, grinning. Her brown eyes were sparkling, as always.  
  
"Haha...okay, say what you have to, quick. Harry's coming back," I replied, somewhat disoriented.  
  
"Well...I was asking you where you wanted to celebrate his birthday, Ron. Definitely not at the horrid Dursleys' home, right?"  
  
"Erm. How about the Burrow? Is that a good place?" I asked.  
  
"Brilliant," she said, smiling.  
  
Great. Now was the time to pretend I actually liked Lavender Brown. This was the worst part of my day.  
  
"Say, Hermione. You did say you wanted to help me chase Lavender?" I said, resisting the urge to kill myself.  
  
"Yeah, yeah I did," Hermione said. I wonder if anyone told ever told her she was beautiful.  
  
"Well?" I said, in what I hoped was an expectant sort of tone.  
  
"Hmm. Flowers should do the trick. And a card on Valentine's Day would be good too," she said.  
  
"Yeah, that's cool. Hey, Harry's coming back. We'll talk some other time," I responded, grinning.  
  
"Sure. Any time, Ron." She winked.  
  
I felt like melting.  
  
**  
  
"RON! Get up now. Quick!" Some guy was pulling me out of bed.  
  
"Wha'?" I said, still half-asleep.  
  
"Get up...now," the person said. I blinked. Oh. It was Harry.  
  
"Wha' for? 'Tis still dark..." I mumbled. Best friend or not, he was disturbing my peaceful sleep.  
  
"It's not 'still dark' for your information. It's morning, and we're going to be late for breakfast. GET UP NOW!" he hollered.  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm up," I said, and got out of bed unwillingly.  
  
I got dressed and we went to the Great Hall, where we sat on either side of Hermione. She smiled at me.  
  
"You look like you're still half asleep, Ron," she said, laughing.  
  
"I am. Oh man. It's all Neville's fault. He made me teach him how to play chess the whole of last night. And after the whole night's practice, he still couldn't get it! Oh gosh. I tell you...I'm so tired now I could just fall on the breakfast table and sleep," I said.  
  
"Straighten up, because Lavender's coming this way," she said, grinning.  
  
"So what?" I said.  
  
"I thought you liked her?"  
  
"I do? Oh yeah, I do," I said, suddenly remembering the role I had to play. I was supposed to be having a crush on Lavender Brown. I really didn't want to continue hiding behind this silly mask. I didn't want my best friends to actually think that I like that girl.  
  
I wish I could tell Hermione how I felt about her...but she'd just be embarrassed and then the both of us will be so awkward when we see each other. I don't want that to happen. I rather we maintain this relationship than an awkward one.  
  
But if I do tell her...and if she does like me... Nah...that's not possible. What would she see in a person like me? Nothing. Nothing at all. I'm like her brother. I'm supposed to be treating her like a sister. I shouldn't be thinking like this.  
  
Snap out of it, Ron. Wake up, she wouldn't like you.  
  
'Ah...but you'll never know, would you? Why don't you tell her?'  
  
Never. If she doesn't, we'll be so awkward and embarrassed when we're together.  
  
'But you don't know, you haven't even tried. Why won't you risk it?'  
  
What? Risk this friendship for something I'm not even sure of? What's the point?  
  
'Try, Ron Weasley. You're in Gryffindor. You're supposed to be brave.'  
  
I tried to shut my optimistic inner voice up. This wasn't the time to be hearing from my conscience. 


	5. Sheesh. She found out. [Ron]

Today was Valentine's day. Hermione insisted that I sent a Valentine's Day card to Lavender. But I really didn't want to. I didn't like Lavender. What Hermione doesn't know is that I rather send a Valentine's Day card to her than to Lavender...and I don't intend to let her know that. So pretending to be eager and embarrassed about it, I sent a Valentine's Day card to Lavender, signing it off as Someone in Gryffindor. I was not going to let Lavender think that I like her, you know.  
  
I attached the card to Pig and told him to send the card to Lavender Brown.  
  
"So you did it already?" Hermione asked, as she watched me attach the card to Pig.  
  
"Yes," I said. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.  
  
"Cool," she said, smiling. Somehow, her smile wasn't very natural.  
  
"Is there something wrong, Hermione?" I asked. I didn't like to see her upset or worried.  
  
"What? Oh, no. Of course not. Just wondering if I'll be receiving any Valentine's Day cards today."  
  
"Of course you will," I said, perhaps a little too surely.  
  
"How do you know?" she said, looking at me curiously.  
  
"I...well...a nice girl like you will surely receive a Valentine's Day card," I replied.  
  
"Hmmm. I don't know. Hey, I'm going to be late for Arithmetic. See you around," she said, smiling.  
  
"Okay, bye," I said, trying not to sound disappointed.  
  
She turned and walked away towards the Arithmetic classroom.  
  
I went towards the Gryffindor Common Room. Divination doesn't start until half an hour later.  
  
The moment I stepped in, I heard someone squeal. It turned out to be Parvati Patil.  
  
"Oooh! Lavender! You actually got a Valentine's Day Card! Who is it from? Who is it from?"  
  
Oh man. I noticed Harry staring at me, and I gave him a look that said 'Please don't give me away'.  
  
"I don't know, Parvati," Lavender responded. "It's signed 'Someone from Gryffindor'. No other identification."  
  
"He's from Gryffindor! That narrows it down a lot. Now, who could it be?" said Parvati, looking from Harry to me to the other boys in the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
Sheesh. They better not find out who it is. I'd die of embarrassment.  
  
"Say, what was the owl like?"  
  
OH DAMN.  
  
"It was a little owl. Looked like Ron's..." Then something seemed to dawn on Lavender. "Ohhh...."  
  
She looked at me. I couldn't help but turn red. I mean, I was so embarrassed!  
  
She turned red too. "I gotta go," she said, running up to the girl's dormitory.  
  
"So Ron...you're the secret admirer! Wait till everyone hears about this!" said Parvati.  
  
Oh God, no.  
  
She ran up the stairs after Lavender, giggling.  
  
I slapped my hand against my forehead. How could I've been so careless! I should have used the school owl or something.  
  
I looked at Harry. He shrugged.  
  
"Well, you were too careless, Ron," he said, grinning.  
  
"Shut up, Harry," I said, scowling.  
  
**  
  
Divination lesson today was particularly hard to endure, with all the girls giggling, and whispering. I felt like I could explode.  
  
"So Lavender, what do you think of Ron? Do you like him?" I heard Parvati whisper to Lavender.  
  
"Well, I don't know," came the reply. "He IS quite nice."  
  
"You know, I don't think--"  
  
"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP ALREADY?!" I cried, frustrated...cutting off Parvati.  
  
Parvati and Lavender looked at me, shocked. Professor Trelawney was not very pleased either.  
  
"Mr Weasley, would you kindly sit down, and tell me what you see in the crystal ball?"  
  
I sat down, and stared grumpily at the crystal ball.  
  
"Nothing. There's nothing inside," I said.  
  
"Well, Mr Weasley, you would see something if you had been paying attention to what I said just now," she said.  
  
"Whatever." Suddenly, I thought of Hermione. She was at Arithmetic. How I wished I could see her now.  
  
I bit my lower lip, and tried to pay attention to what the professor was saying. This had to be the worst day of my life.  
  
I suddenly got an idea.  
  
"Professor...I think all that shouting had made me get a stomachache. May I be excused, please?" I said, trying to give the professor my best 'pleading' look.  
  
She looked at me. Harry stared at me too. None of them could think of what I was going to do.  
  
"Well, all right, but be back quickly," she said finally.  
  
"Thank you, Professor," I said. Then I whispered to Harry, "I'll explain later."  
  
He nodded, and I climbed down the tower. I ran towards the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
I grabbed the pack of Valentine's Day cards I had bought.  
  
"Dear Hermione," I wrote in one. "I really really like you, but I don't dare to say it openly. I feel like I'm such a coward."  
  
It was time for the sign off. I pondered for a while...and then I wrote, "Your secret admirer."  
  
I pointed my wand at it and cast the spell for changing the handwriting. In the place of my untidy scrawl, a neat, cursive, handwriting appeared. Then I ran to the owlery. I wasn't going to make the same mistake this time. Attaching the card to one of the school owls, I told it, "Hermione Granger, please."  
  
It nodded, and flew away. I ran all the way back to Divination class. 


	6. Explaining things [Ron]

"Where did you go?" Harry whispered, as I sat back down at the table.  
  
"I'll tell you later," I said.  
  
After Divination, Harry asked me, "So where did you really go?"  
  
"I went back to the Common Room," I said truthfully.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Now, that is a secret," I said, grinning. "You'll see."  
  
We arrived at the Potrait hole.  
  
"Bird's beak," Harry said.  
  
The painting swung aside. Hermione was sitting inside, reading a book.  
  
"Hey guys," she said, smiling at us when she saw us coming in. "Guess what...someone sent me a Valentine!"  
  
"Cool!" I said. "I knew you'd get one."  
  
Harry looked at me. I nodded meaningfully.  
  
"Uh, oh yeah, cool, Hermione," he said, glancing at me.  
  
Hermione grinned. "I wonder who it is, though..."  
  
"Er, can we see what's written inside?" asked Harry.  
  
"Well...It's a bit private," she replied.  
  
"Oh. It's all right then," I said, smiling. "Hey, lessons are over, so why don't we go out for a walk?"  
  
"Nah, I want to finish my book," said Hermione.  
  
"It's okay then. Harry? Want to come with me?" I said.  
  
"Well...I--" he began. I stepped on his foot. "Okay. I've nothing on." He grinned, a little bit too brightly.  
  
When we were outside, Harry spoke.  
  
"What's the big idea, sending Hermione a Valentine?" he whispered.  
  
"Well...I..." I started. I couldn't control the blush that came along. "I might as well tell you. I like Hermione. As in, really like her."  
  
Harry looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I thought you were supposed to be liking Lavender Brown?"  
  
"Of course not! I never liked her...she was just...an excuse," I replied.  
  
"An excuse for what?"  
  
"Hmm. That's a tough question," I said weakly.  
  
Harry didn't press me for an answer.  
  
"Okay. Hey, so are you going to tell Hermione?"  
  
"No," I said.  
  
"Why not?" he asked.  
  
"I don't want to risk this friendship for something I'm not sure of," I replied truthfully.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. If she likes you, you won't be risking anything."  
  
"The problem is," I said. "I don't know whether she likes me."  
  
"Sheesh. I'll ask her for you if you like," he said.  
  
"Erm. Nah. Don't. I'll find a way to tell her," I responded.  
  
"Fine. Don't say that I didn't try to help," he said.  
  
"I won't, don't worry," I said, grinning.  
  
"How are you going to solve the Lavender Brown problem anyway?" he asked.  
  
I groaned, suddenly remembering that Lavender thought I liked her. "We'll take it one step at a time, okay? Let's get back to the Common Room." 


	7. Figuring things out [Hermione]

I looked at the card again.  
  
"Dear Hermione, I really really like you, but I don't dare to say it openly.I feel like I'm such a coward. Signed, Your secret admirer."  
  
Who could it be? That handwriting...it's so neat. It definitely can't be Ron's. I expected that. He just sent a card to Lavender Brown, the girl he likes. This couldn't be him at all. Of course it wouldn't be him.  
  
Ron and Harry had just gone out for a walk, giving me time to think things through alone.  
  
The owl had flown in suddenly just now, disrupting my Arithmetic class. That was when Ron was having Divination, so he couldn't have sent it. This was weird. Maybe it was Viktor Krum, the Durmstrang boy I had dated briefly in fourth year. He never told me he liked me before, he only asked me out. Could it be him?  
  
I scratched my head. Oh well, I guess I'll figure it out later. I looked at my book and tried to concentrate on reading it, but I just couldn't stop wondering who the mystery sender might be. Then, the potrait hole opened. Harry and Ron were back from their walk.  
  
"Hey Hermione," Ron said, grinning. "Figured out who sent you that card yet?"  
  
What? It was like he could read my mind!  
  
"I haven't been trying to figure out who sent me that card," I lied.  
  
Wait a minute...how did he know...?  
  
"Hey," I said. "How did you know that the person didn't sign his name on the card?"  
  
"Well, I didn't sign mine the time I sent the card to erm, Purple," he said.  
  
"Purple? Who's Purple?" I asked.  
  
"Lavender found out Ron sent her the card," said Harry. "He doesn't want her to know we're talking about her, so we're codenaming her Purple."  
  
"Oh." For a minute there, I thought Ron had a new crush.  
  
"Have you tried identifying the handwriting yet?" said Ron, changing the subject.  
  
"I have, but it was really neat and cursive and I don't know anyone who has such beautiful handwriting," I replied.  
  
Ron grinned. "Well, you can try matching all the boys' handwriting one by one."  
  
"Don't be stupid, Ron," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm not THAT eager to find out who the person is."  
  
"Really?"  
  
I had lied. I was really curious about who had sent me the card, and why he had refused to sign his name. "Of course."  
  
Oh well, another lie wouldn't hurt.  
  
"All right, you two. Stop arguing..." Harry said. "You won't find out who sent Hermione the card by arguing."  
  
"Well, I'm bored," said Ron. "Can't we do anything at all?"  
  
Then, as if it was an answer to Ron's question, a scream rang out.  
  
"What was that?" I said, shocked.  
  
"I think the question should be 'Who was that?'" Harry replied.  
  
We ran out of the Common Room.  
  
"The scream sounded like it was coming from the Quidditch pitch," Ron said.  
  
We rushed towards the pitch.  
  
Oh. My. God.  
  
A dragon! A dragon was there! And it was moving towards Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown!  
  
"Hey!" It was Ron. "Go away, Scale Tail!"  
  
The dragon turned and looked at Ron. It blew fire in our direction.The boys managed to jump away in time, but I was too slow.  
  
Too slow.  
  
I screamed. It was pain! Agony! I felt the flames on my skin and on my robes. It was so painful!  
  
"HERMIONE!!!" I heard Ron shout.  
  
I fell...fell into the deep darkness.  
  
And I knew no more. 


	8. I don't want to lose her [Ron]

She fell to the ground, writhing in pain.  
  
"HERMIONE!!!" I cried, as I ran forward to her.  
  
Harry was distracting the huge dragon. How in the world did a dragon get into Hogwarts?  
  
I pointed my wand at Hermione, casting the water spell. A puddle of water appeared in mid-air and splashed onto her. The fire was out...and so was Hermione. She was out cold. Her skin was burnt and raw. I couldn't bear to look at her. I turned towards Harry. His right arm was scalded and bleeding.  
  
"Take Hermione to the Hospital wing! Both of you! And then get the professor!" I shouted to Lavender and Parvati. Those two girls were really useless.  
  
They rushed towards Hermione. Lavender waved her wand and said, "Mobilicorpus."  
  
Hermione floated up, and both of them, with one last frightened glance at both the dragon and Harry, ran off to the Hospital wing.  
  
"Oi! You big horned head! I'm here!" I shouted, trying to distract the dragon. I succeeded. It turned towards me, and fired another blast of flames. I dodged it, but not too expertly. The flames managed to hit my left arm, leaving a burnt, bleeding mark similar to Harry's. "Harry! Do something! Hex it or anything!"  
  
Harry frowned. "Hey! Stupid dragon! Over here!"  
  
The dragon turned. Harry pointed his wand at it and whispered the spell for the Conjunctivitus curse. The dragon staggered back, as if Harry had used something to hit it in the eye. I felt a sense of deja vu. That's what Krum did two years back at the Triwizard Tournament.  
  
I waved my wand. "Petrificus Totalus!"  
  
Stoned, the dragon fell abruptly to the ground, making a loud crashing noise.  
  
Professor Mcgonagall arrived on the scene, but a little too late, as usual.  
  
"What in the world went on here?" she said, sternly.  
  
Both Harry and I were too breathless to speak. Finally, I said, "A dragon, Professor. We have no idea how it got in here. It was attacking the girls. Parvati and Lavender were unharmed, but its flames hit Hermione in full blast."  
  
Hermione! How was she now?  
  
"What? Miss Granger got hit by the dragon's flames?"  
  
"Yes," said Harry. "And us too. But Hermione's in greater danger."  
  
"Hermione! We've got to see her!" I said, unable to control my anxiety any longer.  
  
Without another word, I ran towards the Hospital wing.  
  
"I'm sorry Professor, but we're really worried," I heard Harry explain. Then he ran after me.  
  
I couldn't believe it. I was going to lose her! I haven't even told her that I loved her! This was so...unbelievable. I needed to see her now.  
  
I arrived at the hospital wing, but Madam Pomfrey refused to let me in the intensive care wing.  
  
"I'm sorry, but you can't go in. She's not in a state to see anyone," she said.  
  
"What? No, please, you've got to let me in," I said. "Or at least tell me if she's badly hurt."  
  
"The dragon's flames had done serious damage to her skin. She is in grave danger. You can't go in now, I'm sorry. And you, boy, are also injured. I will have to treat you first."  
  
I let myself get pulled into the room. Harry followed. Madam Pomfrey applied some weird orange paste onto our skin, presumably to cure burns. But I couldn't even care about the pain. I was too busy wondering how Hermione was. Would she be scarred for life? 


	9. What's wrong with her? [Ron]

I couldn't sleep. In my mind, the scene of Hermione being hurt replayed over and over again. Even if I did get any sleep, it was a fitful one. I wanted to see Hermione, but Madam Pomfrey kept stopping me from seeing her. I couldn't do anything. I don't even know how she is now. It's like, I'd rather the dragon hurt me than Hermione. I rather be the one lying in the hospital bed now.  
  
"Ron." It was Harry. "Ron, are you awake?"  
  
"Harry? It's in the middle of the night, but yes, I'm awake," I replied.  
  
I drew open the curtains of my bed and let Harry in. Draped around him, was his Invisibility Cloak.  
  
"What were you doing wearing an Invisibility Cloak in the middle of the night? Were you sneaking around?" I asked, forcing a grin.  
  
"I...Ron...I went to see Hermione. I snuck into the Intensive Care wing with the Cloak on," he replied.  
  
"What? And you didn't ask me to go with you? Don't you know how worried I am?" I said, agitated. Harry should know that I'm anxious about Hermione, how could he go see her without asking me to go along?  
  
"Keep your voice down, Ron. I knew you'd be worried, so I had gone alone. Could you imagine how it would be like if you were shouting in that wing?" he said.  
  
Harry had a point. I would probably give a cry of worry or something like that.  
  
"So how is she?" I said.  
  
"Ron..." Harry started. I looked closer at him. His eyes were red. "Ron...she wouldn't wake up. Her skin was all red and raw that I almost couldn't recognise her. But she won't wake up, Ron. I called her name...but she wouldn't wake up. It was like she was--"  
  
"Don't say it," I cut him off. "Don't say that word. Nothing would happen to Hermione."  
  
He nodded. "But she...I don't know. Let's hope Madam Pomfrey can wake her."  
  
Hermione...she... I scratched my head, frustrated.  
  
"I want to see her, Harry. Let me go see her," I said finally. "I'll keep my voice down, I promise. You have to let me see her."  
  
"Are you sure? I don't thi--"  
  
"Harry please!" I said. "I'm dying of anxiety here...please, Harry."  
  
"All right," he said.  
  
Using the Cloak to cover the both of us, we slipped out of the potrait hole.  
  
Arriving at the Hospital wing, Harry put his finger on his lips, and pushed the door gently aside. Madam Pomfrey wasn't around. Quietly, we walked towards the door that said 'Intensive Care'. Harry nudged it open again, and we slipped into the room. Sneaking pass Madam Pomfrey, who was preparing the medication, we approached Hermione's bed.  
  
I almost gave a cry of despair.  
  
She was there...it was definitely her... I couldn't bear to look at her...it was so painful. I reached out...I wanted to touch her, to make sure she's still okay, but Harry stopped me, and I unwillingly let myself get pulled out of the wing.  
  
We bumped into something...or someone. It was Madam Pomfrey.  
  
"What? Who's there?" She made a wild grope and caught hold of the Cloak. She pulled it off us. "You two! Can't you give the poor girl some privacy? I know you're worried, but this isn't the time to see her. I'm confiscating this thing until she's better."  
  
She took our cloak and brought us back to the Common Room. "I won't tell the Professor about this, I know you're just worried. But no more sneaking out at night."  
  
"Bird's beak," I muttered reluctantly.  
  
The painting swung aside. Harry and I went back to the dormitory.  
  
Without the Cloak, we couldn't even see Hermione now. And God knows how worried I am.  
  
**  
  
I don't know how I survived the past two weeks without seeing Hermione. But I did. Looking at the empty seat beside us during lessons, I couldn't even listen properly to lessons, not even Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Lupin seemed interesting. I was troubled, worried. I thought of her most of the time, but now, I couldn't stop worrying about her. I couldn't pay attention to lessons.  
  
Regret kept filling me when I realise that I might lose her, and that I've never told her how I felt about her. I should have told her that day on Valentine's Day. I should have told her that she was the one I really liked. I should have, I should have....so many things I should have done, but I did none of it.  
  
I'm really an idiot.  
  
"Mr Weasley? Mr Ronald Weasley?" Someone was calling me. Who cares?  
  
"MR WEASLEY!"  
  
I snapped awake.  
  
"Yes, Professor Mcgonagall?" I said.  
  
"I've been calling you for the past two minutes. I was about to tell you that Miss Granger is awake and out of hospital, something you should be glad to know," she said.  
  
"WHAT? REALLY? THANKS PROFESSOR!"  
  
I looked at Harry. "I've been helping her to call you, but you just didn't seem to respond," he said, grinning.  
  
"She should be in the Common Room now. You may go and see her after this lesson," she said. "Now, pay attention. Oh by the way, Mr Potter, Madam Pomfrey says you can have your Invisibility Cloak back."  
  
Hermione was all right! Everything was fine now...everything was going to be well.  
  
After Transfiguration, Harry and I ran all the way back to the Common Room.  
  
"Bird's beak, bird's beak..." I said, hardly catching my breath.  
  
The painting swung aside. Harry and I rushed in. She was there...with a hood over her head, but of course I could recognise her. Her back was facing us, she was sitting on the armchair facing the fire.  
  
"Hermione!" I called.  
  
She turned slightly, but when she saw it was us, she turned away quickly. Why didn't she seem glad to see us?  
  
"Hermione, it's us, Ron and Harry," I said, moving to the front of her chair.  
  
"Go away," she said, her voice slightly quavering. When we got to the front of her chair, she turned her face away. She refused to look at us...why?  
  
"Hermione?" I said. I reached forward to remove the hood.  
  
"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" she shouted. And then pushing me aside, she ran up the stairs toward the girl's dormitory.  
  
I watched as she ran up the stairs, wanting to give chase, but was pulled back by Harry.  
  
"What's wrong with her, Harry? Why did she avoid us?" I said, struggling to get free. "Let me go! I've got to ask her what's wrong!"  
  
"Ron! Stop struggling! You won't get an answer if you force her to tell you now! She's obviously upset..." said Harry. I stopped struggling. Harry let me go. "Maybe we should let her cool down first. All right?"  
  
I nodded. Harry was right...she didn't seem in a state to explain things now.  
  
What was wrong with Hermione? 


	10. Not now. [Hermione]

How could I let him see me like this? How could I let him see what I've become?  
  
I ran up to the girls' dormitory, and shut the curtains on my bed. I sat on the bed and hugged my knees, wanting to cry. I removed the hood slowly from my head.  
  
I was hideous...I was a monster. I touched my left cheek. My skin was rough and scarred. Madam Pomfrey had did all she could to heal my burns, but still...these scars were even beyond magical care. I couldn't let Ron see me. Not like this. I had pushed him away when he tried to remove my hood. I simply couldn't bear to look at him with a face like...like...this. It hurt me to have to avoid him and push him aside when I love him so much. Although I know the feeling isn't mutual.  
  
I had woke up in the Intensive Care wing, and Madam Pomfrey was sitting beside me. She had smiled, but I saw that the smile was slightly forced. She had given me a mirror. And that's when I realised I was no longer the Hermione Granger of old. I was an ugly and hideous creature. My left cheek had been horribly scarred and burnt. I had waited for them in the Common Room, hoping to have the courage to face both Harry and Ron with my new and horrible look. But when they came in...and when Ron called out my name...I just couldn't. I just couldn't muster up any courage to face either of them, not even Harry. How could I just look them in the face and force them to accept me for who I am now?  
  
I had asked Madam Pomfrey what to do to cover up this horrible scar, and she had told me not to cover it up. But I had to. How can I stand everyone at Hogwarts staring and pointing at me? How could I stand Ron looking in my face only to think, 'Ooh, she's ugly.'? How could I put up with the ridicule and embarrassement I have to face? How could I...?  
  
I know that thinking only of the surface is a very shallow act...but whatever people say, looks do matter. Even though everyone says that loving a person is about loving their hearts and souls...they still think looks matter. Everyone does.  
  
So I had put a hood on my head, using part of my long hair to conceal the disfigured portion of my face. This had aided a lot...because no one could see what was behind my hair...but I know that this was only a temporary measure. You can't expect me to go around looking like Red Riding Hood forever, right?  
  
"Hermione?" I heard someone say. "Hermione? I know you're in there."  
  
I opened the curtain a little, enough to look out. It was Lavender Brown. Tears were welling up in her eyes. "Yes?"  
  
"Herm...I'm so sorry," she said, her tears starting to fall.  
  
"It's not your fault, Lavender. Neither is it Parvati's," I said. "Don't blame yourself."  
  
"I...if I hadn't been talking to Parvati on the Quidditch pitch, we wouldn't have encountered the dragon, and you wouldn't have come out to try and help us, Herm...It's our fault," she answered.  
  
"It's not. If I hadn't been nosy I wouldn't have got hurt either..." I said. "It was the dragon's fault. How in the world did it get in here?"  
  
"I don't know...I was just talking to Parvati when suddenly a huge dragon came out of nowhere," she said. I saw her wiping away her tears.  
  
"Okay...Lavender, stop crying. I think you're going to be late for Divination," I said.  
  
"Aren't you going for Arithmancy?"  
  
"I've been given a few days rest...to adjust." To adjust to my new look.  
  
"All right. I'm really sorry, Herm," I heard her say. And then the sound of footsteps going down the dormitory stairs.  
  
Was I ready to tell Ron and Harry yet? They must be wondering what's wrong with me.  
  
But I just can't bear letting Ron see me like this. I guess I'll decide after their Divination lesson.  
  
**  
  
Sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, I waited for the boys to get back after Divination. I don't know what I was going to say, or what was I even thinking of saying. What can I expect from their reaction? Probably shock, horror... I don't know. I got up, intending to leave...I don't think it's time to tell them yet. Besides, they were supposed to be in the middle of their Divination class.  
  
The painting swung aside abruptly, and Ron stepped in. Shocked at Ron's sudden appearance, I started to rush up the stairs again...but he was faster. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.  
  
"Don't run away again, Hermione," he said, holding me tight. "Please don't leave me again."  
  
I pushed him and tried to pull away from his warm embrace, but he was too strong. "Let me go, Ron..."  
  
"I won't. Unless you promise not to run away again," came the reply.  
  
I continued struggling. "Let go of me, Ronald Weasley."  
  
"D'you think I snuck out of Divination just to let you get away again, Herm?" he asked.  
  
"You're in love with Lavender Brown, Ron...Not me," I said, still struggling.  
  
"That was a lie, Hermione. I never liked Lavender Brown. How could I, when all of the space in my heart is taken up by...you?"  
  
I couldn't believe my ears. "What?"  
  
"I love you, Hermione Granger," he said. Then he bent over to kiss me.  
  
Shocked at his sudden and abrupt advance, I pushed him away as hard as I could. I broke free. "No...this can't be true."  
  
How could it be...how could it be that he loves me? I'm a hideous creature. Hideous!  
  
I ran as fast as I could up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. He started to follow.  
  
"Leave me alone, Ron...Please..." I said, running. "Ron...not now. I'll explain some other time, but not now. If you respect me enough, you'll leave me alone."  
  
I heard Ron's footsteps stop.  
  
"Go, Ron. Please...go," I said, my heart hurting with every word. Tears were already falling from my eyes.  
  
I ran into the dormitory and onto my bed.I shut the curtains. Hugging my knees, I cried.  
  
Please...make him go away. Please make him leave me alone. I wasn't ready...not now.  
  
Not now. 


	11. Finally [Ron]

"Go, Ron. Please...go." My heart felt like it was breaking with every syllable.  
  
And I let her leave me. Again.  
  
I knew she didn't like me. How could somebody so beautiful, so perfect, ever like someone like me?  
  
I was at Divination, when I suddenly felt that I should go back to the Common Room and tell Hermione how I felt about her, whatever the consequences were. Excusing myself, saying that I needed to go to the washroom, I left Divination...leaving Harry wondering again.  
  
And now...I had let her leave me again.  
  
Glumly, I left the Common Room and walked back to the classroom.  
  
"Where did you go this time?" Harry whispered as I sat back down.  
  
"To look for Hermione," I said, without thinking.  
  
"What? Didn't I tell you that she'd tell us when she's ready?" he said.  
  
"I know, Harry...I know. We'll talk later, okay? The dragonfly's coming this way," I muttered.  
  
Professor Trelawney approached our table.  
  
"Now Mr Potter, what do you see in the crystal ball?"  
  
"I see myself getting into a fight next Wednesday," said Harry, making it up as he went along. "And I get a broken arm."  
  
"Good, good...very good. You are definitely learning, Mr Potter," she said.  
  
"Yeah," Harry whispered to me when she walked away. "I'm learning to make up stories."  
  
I tried to smile, but Harry could see that my heart wasn't in it.  
  
"All right, we'll talk later," he said.  
  
On the way to Charms, Harry said, "Ron? Can you tell me what happened now?"  
  
"I told her, Harry. I told her," I said.  
  
"Oh, and what was her reaction?"  
  
"She pushed me away. I knew that would happen," I replied.  
  
We arrived in front of Professor Flitwick's classroom. Suddenly a memory of our first year in Hogwarts hit me.  
  
"It's Wingardium Leviosa, make the 'gar' nice and long."  
  
I smiled at the memory. Then I snapped out of my trance. Harry was staring at me.  
  
"Ron? You all right? Why're you smiling to yourself?"  
  
"Nothing...just recalled something," I said truthfully.  
  
"Okay..." said Harry, casting me a weird look.  
  
Charms was the last lesson...after Charms, I could go back to the Common Room and ask Hermione what was wrong with her. I wish this lesson would end sooner. I wish that time would past faster. In fact, I wish I could read Hermione's mind. God knows what she's thinking.  
  
After a horrendous hour, Charms finally ended. I sped out of the classroom, without waiting for Harry. I guess he understands.  
  
"Fish fins," I said, reaching the painting. The potrait swung aside.  
  
I don't know what I had expected to see, though. Hermione wasn't there. Depressed, I slumped into the armchair in front of the fire. I guess she must be scared of me now.  
  
Shortly, Harry came in. "Really Ron, you shouldn't rush off like that. I was wondering what was wrong with you."  
  
"You should be wondering what's wrong with Hermione," I mumbled. But he heard me.  
  
"Stop thinking so much...she'll be all right. She'll tell us when she's ready."  
  
"What if she's never ready? What if she spends the rest of our years at Hogwarts avoiding us? What if she never speaks to me again?" I said, agitated.  
  
"Relax, Ron! How can she avoid us for the rest of our years at Hogwarts? She wouldn't be able to shake us off," he said. "I think she'll tell us within these few days, so stop being so nervous."  
  
"I don't know, Harry." I buried my face in my hands. "I really don't know."  
  
He came next to me and patted my back. "Hey, come on. Don't bother too much. She'll let us know some day."  
  
**  
  
Today was Thursday, two days after I told Hermione I liked her. She still hadn't explain things yet. I felt like I was going to go mad just waiting. I had to know what was wrong with her...she was making me so worried. Fortunately, these few days I had managed to concentrate more on lessons...the exams were coming. I remembered that Hermione liked taking exams...how could she miss her end of years?  
  
I tried to push off all thoughts of Hermione by studying, but believe it or not, studying actually made me think of her more. The Werewolf Code of Conduct...Uric the Oddball...all the things we've studied together before.  
  
I scratched my head, frustrated. How was I going to survive the exams like this? If I could pass my exams without going nuts, I would be grateful.  
  
The library was quiet. Harry had gone off to sleep, saying that he couldn't study any much longer. I had told him to leave first. Sitting in the library would be better for me to think things through. Especially since the library was empty. Flipping through my Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, I realised that I wouldn't get anything done by studying and thinking of Hermione at the same time.  
  
"Ron?" That voice...  
  
"Hermione?" I said, disbelieving.  
  
She stepped into the light. The hood was still on her head, and I couldn't see the left side of her face.  
  
"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong with you lately?" I said gently.  
  
"I don't know, Ron," she replied.  
  
"Please, Hermione," I looked at her, pleading.  
  
She closed her eyes. "Okay."  
  
Removing the hood, and pushing her hair aside, she reveal a nasty-looking patch on the left side.  
  
"I'm a hideous and horrible-looking creature, Ron," she said, a tear rolling off her good cheek. "That's why when you told me you loved me, I wasn't ready. I couldn't believe it at all. I had waited for you to say that for so long, and I never expected that when you finally told me that, I would be unhappy."  
  
"You? Hideous? That is so untrue. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met," I said, standing up and walking towards her.  
  
"You're lying, Ron. It's obvious."  
  
"Lie? I could never lie about this. Your heart and soul are so beautiful...you already surpass any girl in beauty," I said, meaning every word from the bottom of my heart.  
  
I stopped in front of her. Then I bent slightly and pressed my lips onto hers. This time, she didn't push me away. After what seemed like an eternity, we pulled apart. I noticed that she was still crying.  
  
"Why're you still crying, Herm?"  
  
"Nothing...maybe I'm just too happy," she said, grinning. Her eyes sparkled, shining with tears. "Oh, by the way, we found out how the dragon got into Hogwarts."  
  
"What? How?"  
  
"Apparently Draco Malfoy had thought that it would be fun having a dragon in the grounds. He had received the egg through mail, when he insisted that his father bought him one." she replied grimly.  
  
"The second Hagrid," I said, rolling my eyes. "So what happened to Malfoy?"  
  
"70 points off Slytherin and detention for three days," she said.  
  
"Personally I think that isn't enough. They should expell him. The dragon could have killed someone!" I said.  
  
"The only person the dragon could've killed was me, because I was the only one who got hit by it's flames," she said. "You and Harry saved the day...again."  
  
"Fortunately you didn't die. If you did... I don't know what would've become of me," I responded.  
  
Hermione grinned. "Let's go back. A chat in the library isn't what I would call 'romantic'. Oh hey, speaking of which...do you know who sent me the Valentine?"  
  
"Of course I do...it was me. I disguised my handwriting with a charm," I said.  
  
"I knew it. Didn't anyone send a Valentine to you?" she said, smiling cheekily.  
  
"Nah, Harry got enough Valentines to flood the room already. Anyway, I'm glad, Herm. You know why?" I winked.  
  
Hermione shook her head.  
  
"Because I'm not a coward anymore." I kissed her nose, and we walked slowly back to the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
-The End- 


End file.
